“Not Really Existing…”

I used to think that friends are the most important people in your life and you are lucky only because of the huge number of friends you have. I couldn’t be any more wrong. A number of friends can never determine how lucky you are in fact if you have only one friend in your life and that friend is loyal, sincere, supportive, reliable to you then you don’t need to have any more friends. I used to assume that I have so many best friends and all of them love me (as they always claimed). The thing is, you start to believe whatever people say to you only because you want yourself to be recognized as a mere existence and that’s what I did. I had always felt and I still feel that I don’t exist for people. I don’t know why but sometimes it feels like people see me as someone who exists only when they need to gossip about someone. Other than that I’m nothing and no one to them and this is the worst state of non-existence anyone can ever experience. So consequently I started to feel like ‘wow I do exist for someone, let me just give them every thing and all kind of happiness and let me show them how caring and good of a person I can be’. Β My friends would play with my insecurities and I brushed it off by saying to myself ‘hey, best friends do that this is why they are best friends, they can joke about everything’. They would disrespect me and I would think that friends are supposed to love you not respect you. Let me tell you, there’s nothing in this world bigger and more important than respect. If someone is not giving you respect then they don’t love you. You should not stay with a person only because they supposedly love you.

Respect should be the most important and sometimes the only factor in all kinds of relationships. It took me so long to realize it and then imply it but I finally did. I distance myself from my ‘friends’ and chose respect over ‘love’. I’m not here to vent and rant about my problems but I want you guys to understand that if you don’t respect someone then don’t pretend that you love them and if someone is not giving you the respect that you deserve then you don’t have to stick with them. If you see someone who thinks that they don’t mean anything to this world then show them how important and how beautiful they are. Everyone needs to know that they exist for the other person. Showing someone that they exist for you is the most underrated thing in this world. So let’s show everyone how important they are. Make it overrated, because some things are better being overrated than left being unnoticed.

 

“Things I have never talked about…”

Greetings to all. πŸ™‚ Hope everyone is doing well.

I’ve been MIA for the last 2 months on this blog. I have also been inconsistent in posting on my Instagram’sΒ writing account but still, I manage to post there sometimes. I don’t know how to justify not posting anything for past two months except for saying that I was quite busy with university. My 4th semester just ended and it had been quite an exhausting semester – mentally and physically – to say the least. I have never talked about my anxiety on my blog, and I kind of never knew if I would some day but for the past couple of weeks I have been trying to fight this anxiety but I have been failing miserably. The reason why I created this blog was to be myself without having people from my personal life judge me and without giving a care of what people around me think of me. What I am here is not what I’m in real life and I want to keep it this way. This blog is my sanctuary in a way. I know it sounds so weird but when everything in your real life seems “unreal” or “inescapable” you try to find solace in these things. I read as much as I can and I believe one of the best decisions I have made in my life is to read books. There isn’t a day that goes by without me reading anything and this actually calms me down. Letting myself be a part of a world (even though it’s not real) and becoming a part of a character’s life sometimes help me a lot in controlling my anxiety. I thought creating an Instagram account for my writing would also be very good for me (and I’m not complaining about it. I’m glad I made it) but as you start building another life on social media you again have to start acting in a way people expect you to behave. And then when people from your personal life start following you there too, well it just gets way harder in some way to cope with everything.

I’m writing this blog post not for people to read and then follow me instantly but for me so that I can actually get it off of my chest. I have written multiple posts like this now but every time I write one I end up deleting it, not having enough strength to upload it. But now I’m actually allowing myself to tell these things to strangers even though I have never told these things to anyone I know.

Hope I didn’t offend anyone with this post. Thank you for reading. πŸ™‚

 

Sincerely,

A Wanderer’s Soul. ❀

 

“Captions and Clickbaits”

Greetings to all the beautiful souls.

I hope you all are doing perfectly fine – mentally and physically.

So, here is a confession in case no one has noticed yet (because obviously no one ever notices ANYTHING IN THIS BLOG!) *calms down* that I suck at giving titles to posts or if you guys haven’t checked out my Instagram then let me tell you, I suck at giving captions to my pictures. If you don’t want to go and see then take me up on my word. I hardly give any captions to my posts, the reason being, my mind goes blank whenever I try to type something as a caption. I feel like the world’s most awkward person, sitting there, looking at nothingness of my mobile screen but sometimes I do try to give captions but then I end up deleting it all and post my pictures with a heart or two (what else would I do, right?)

And then I go on Youtube and come across all these promising titles, offering us so much but giving us nothing in their videos (No, I’m not going to roast anyone). But here I am, giving the most boring titles to my blog posts and nearly no captions to my Instagram pictures. If only there were a college from where you could major in clickbaits and captions, trust me I would fail in those classes as well but hey at least I would learn at least something out of them, right????

So tell me how do you come up with your titles or captions? Do you feel like sometimes it is difficult to think of captions or titles?

Sincerely,

A Wanderer’s Soul. ❀

“Why I’m A Reader (Book Tag)”

Greetings. πŸ™‚

 I don’t know who created this tag and it is also quite old, I suppose. All I know is some publishing company created it. I found it on booktube & I thought maybe I should post it. Without further ado, let’s get started.

1 Choose one word that describes you as a reader?

I’d say ‘antsy’ I guess. Because no matter what book I’m reading, even if I’m hating it I still get so antsy and get so much into it. I don’t know, it was the first thing that came in my mind.

2.  What’s the very first book you fell in love with?

So, I’m a Pakistani and in Urdu literature we have these short children story books which are so interesting. I don’t see them now a days (I guess they got extinct or something  Idk :/ ) Well kids these days will never know the beauty of those old days. Coming back to the point, those stories were about beasts, mermaids and basically so many mythical creatures and I used to love reading about those books (I suppose I was 7 or 8 when I started reading them). I guess those were the first books I fell in love with.

3. Hardcover books or Paper bag books?

Obviously Hardcover books because hardcover has this ability to make every trashy cover look better in my opinion. But paper bag are easy to handle while reading. But still if I had to choose, I would say hardcover and the funny thing is I don’t own that many hardcovers because they are soooooo expensive in Pakistan.

4. How has reading shaped your identity?

Oh God! I believe I have an identity only because of books. I started looking at things quite differently when I started reading more frequently. I would rather choose books over anything in this world. I have become more reserved when it comes to connecting with people because I trust, respect and love books more than I can trust, respect and love people.

5. What book do you read when you need to be comforted?

Any YA, NA contemporary. Because I can’t read Sci-fi when I’m upset because it takes a lot of energy to comprehend it, linguistically speaking (Yes I do learn something from university). And YA or NAs are always easy to read and they manage to take my mind off of things pretty easily.

6. Who taught you to be a reader? Or did you do it on your own?

I think I have mentioned this in some of my previous posts that my maternal side is quite into literature but I don’t think this was what made me a reader. I figured it out myself that I’m a reader. It took me some time to realize it but I kind of did it on my own. 

7. Describe your dream reading lounge?

A cozy library that I will own someday with snowfall outside and a comfy blanket with all the books I love in the world before my eyes.

8. What book changed the way you act? Or changed the way you see the world?

I believe every single book that I have read has left some impact on me, no matter if I liked it or not but I believe I’m a combination of everything that I have ever read. But if I had to choose I would say The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. This book really taught me and made me realize so many things in life and I guess every historical novel has this quality of changing you completely.

So this was the very first book tag that I have ever done. Yaayy for me! πŸ˜€

If you are interested in doing this tag then please do it so I would know why you are a reader. πŸ™‚

Sincerely,

A Bibliophile. ❀

“30 Facts about Me”

I just saw that many bloggers have these posts of facts about themselves so I thought I should also make one about me. So here it goes… πŸ™‚

  1. I’m 21 years old and Pakistani Muslim.
  2. I’m doing bachelors in English Language and Literature.
  3. I decided to choose English as my major after reading Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.
  4. I get overly obsessed with things easily and then there comes a point where I struggle to stop this obsession but it gets pretty hard for me to stop.
  5. I love winters. I would rather spend a winter’s night with -15 degree Centigrade outside walking than to spend a summer day outside on beach. Also, I feel like I can breathe more easily in winters.
  6. I sometimes get very bad anxiety. Sometimes they are about most random things and I can’t understand why these things are triggering my anxiety.
  7. I love reading conspiracy theories and creepy pasta.
  8. Though I’m pursuing a degree in Literature and Language but I’m passionate about Psychology, Criminology, Sociology and Law (and I read about these subjects excessively on Internet).
  9. I am obsessed with One Direction not because they’re good singers but because I believe they are good people in person (NO I have never met them).
  10. I would rather live in mountains with winters throughout the year than live in a city with 3-4 months of summers.
  11. I have re watched Wizards of Waverly Place for like umpteenth times and I still watch it even though I’m 21 now. Also, one of my favorite sitcoms are Friends and Parks and Recreation.
  12. My favorite genre in books is Young Adult Contemporary.
  13. My favorite writer is Kasie West. I believe she is my spirit animal and if I were a real writer I would have written the same novels as she does and I have read all of her books except Pivot Point.
  14. I think I have conflicting feelings towards everything in my life. For instance, I don’t know if ice cream really tastes that good or is it just what we have always believed.
  15. My favorite Youtubers are Shane Dawson, Miranda Sings, Lilly Singh and LoeyLane.
  16. My favorite Booktubers are Hailey In Bookland and LilyCReads.
  17. As I said earlier I get obsessed or rather addicted to things easily so I don’t think I like anything or anyone but rather I get obsessed with them. I have got mad detective skills (I would rather use this term than call myself a Stalker πŸ˜€ ). If I like anything I will read every single article about it and watch every available video about it and I hate this side of mine.
  18. My hands are always too hot no matter what the season is.
  19. I have like the worst skin and I can’t do anything about it because whenever I try to use any product for it I end up getting acne all over my face.
  20. When I was in school I wanted to be a Software Engineer but then I changed my mind.
  21. I hate having small talks with strangers. I guess you can say I’m not a people person.
  22. I don’t know if it was obvious from the previous points but I’m an extremely introverted person. I can happily stay in my room for 12 months straight but obviously I can’t. I hate it when I have to go out for anything and I hate it when I have to interact with anyone.
  23. I hate confrontations.
  24. I’m always in discussion with my own self and weirdly enough those discussions never take place in my native language.
  25. I have very small feet and this is one of the reason why I hate wearing shoes. And I have never worn heels in my life and I cannot wear them either.
  26. I like to think I have Ailurophobia.
  27. I hate and fear change. I hate it when something in my life starts changing.
  28. I have two sisters. One is two years older than me and one is four years younger than me. Many people confuse my little sister and I as twins.
  29. I like eating meat but whenever I eat it I get nausea and this is why I love vegetables and fruits.
  30. Right now I’m embarrassed of the length of this post. 😦

So these were the most unimportant facts about me. Tell me something about you. πŸ™‚

Sincerely,

One of the Blessed Ones. ❀

facts

“A Series That Is So Bad That It Becomes Entertaining”

Greetings to all. 

So, before starting this blog post I really want to say that this post or all the coming posts are not meant to hurt any writer or to throw shades on any one but rather it is just a mean of expressing my own opinion about certain books or parts of general books. Now, without further due, let’s get started.

There are quite some books that are so good and hyped but somehow they become awful along the way. And amongst this realm of books we have this particular series that is so bad yet so interesting at the same time. Let me give you a hint: it is YA dystopian which is quite popular (and includes lots of beautiful dresses).

The Famous or rather Infamous ” The Selection Series” ❀

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t read the books yet then read them first and then read this post.

1

Okay, when talking about The Selection Series the first character that comes in our minds is, America Singer. I have literally never come across any character which is as annoying as she is (Maxon boy, I do believe you are cute but I don’t respect your life choices and don’t even get me started on Aspen!). First of all the love triangle! I hate love triangles in general but if you want me to murder those characters throw some America Singer in it and Voila! you have the element of ruining every good story.

I actually loved reading this series. I read the first three books in two days straight. This series is something you cannot simply put down and sometimes you have this strong urge to throw it across the room.

When I finished the first three books I was like, “Okay, so finally I got the answers and now I won’t have to read about this clueless or rather dumbest character” but guess what? The daughter came in the picture. You know that phrase? Like mother like daughter. Well, in this case the daughter was 10 times more of what her mother was;  “The most Powerful” Princess Eadlyn. (YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!)

kill-me

I have one question. Why these men in this series need to reevaluate their life choices so much? I mean, I get it love is blind but love isn’t dumb enough to not recognize the annoyance of another person. I have so many conflicting feelings towards these books. In one way, these books are my guilty pleasure. I might re-read them in future (like again and again) but I have such strong feelings towards these characters that I will keep on despising them. But still I cannot deny that this series is so entertaining that I couldn’t put down the first three books. I actually kind of DNFed The Crown when I was halfway through the book. I couldn’t take any longer of Eadlyn Schreave and had to just read the ending but I totally recommend the first three books in this series.

So there you go, The Selection Series is awfully good (Only oxymoron can define this series). The covers are so pretty, the dresses are amazing, the writing is also really good but one has to be tolerant enough to read this series.

Hope I didn’t offend anyone. This is only what I felt about this series. I never said these books shouldn’t exist because writing these kinds of books is a real talent and no one should discourage anyone as Truman Capote said, “You can’t blame the writer for what the characters say.” I do believe Kiera Cass is an amazing writer and she should write more amazing books in future.

Sincerely,

A Bibliophile. ❀